Our Addictions & The Saving Power of The Lord Jesus Christ (Part 1)

I don't know where to start. 
Help me Lord. Speak through me. This is going to be a really long post so please brace yourself. I struggled to write this. I knew God wanted me to write it, but I struggled with certain things.... but I know it is the right thing to do.

The loved one of someone I know opened up to us about their use of substance. They’d been hiding it and I believe that God spoke to them with this post to encourage them to open up. By the way, I know you are reading and I want to applaud your courage and your decision to throw off secrecy. You must be proud of this one step. I know you may often wonder if it was a mistake to open up but I can assure you, you’ve done the right thing and inside of you lies the strength to FIGHT. Inside of you- the YOU that is fueled by the power of GOD.  I also want you to know that, if I never told you, I love you very much, I pray for you, you are so smart, so bright, you have a beautiful heart, you are fun, funny, you are a package and inside of the package I see a person the Lord wants to use greatly to effect tremendous change in the world- and I’m not saying this to “motivate”, it’s a strong impression in my spirit, and so I want to challenge you to Fight hard and I know you can do this 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

I'd been under the impression that this loved one had been battling with an addiction to weed and that this was the issue but, alas, this loved one had progressed to a harder substance and was beginning to find that they were losing control over their ability to decide whether or not they wanted to use.... 
In trying to connect them to help, I was told that there is a current epidemic in Nigeria with young people, did they say especially in the East? I cannot remember now but basically that young people had somehow found out ways to make Meth in Nigeria and the result of this was an epidemic with hoards of people going mad. As in, becoming mentally unstable. As in, going insane. 
My heart is really broken. My heart is really broken

A cry to Abba....

My Abba..... 
Help me.... 
Help me... 
Teach me, I'm hungry..... 
I want more, I need more. 
Teach me your ways. 
I'm DESPERATE for you. 
Help me Lord. Purge me Lord. 
Where is the dross? In my heart? Take it out. 
In my thoughts? Wipe it out. 
Teach me that my mind may be renewed. 
Teach me. Tutor me. Bend me. Mould me. Fix me. 
ABBBBBAAAAA! Help me. Help me.... 
Help my limitations, my ignorance, 
Don't allow me perish due to ignorance, teach me, instruct me 
Give me the grace for obedience too, help me 
I DESIRE you, I desire you... mostly... 
Other desires show up and for them I shame, 
But thou art my ULTIMATE Desire, 
How do I please you? How do I draw you closer? 
Do you see me? Do you see my heart beat? Help me. 
Don't turn away from me..... Share your heart with me. 
Destroy my heart with what destroys yours. 
Help me to hate iniquity and to see your children with love and compassion 
Love and compassion... 
Love and compassion.... 
Break me with what breaks you..... 
Help me.... 

 *wrote this in August 2021. Felt led to share today. Maybe God wants anyone who reads my recent blog to know that even with growth, there is still hunger for more. It's never ending, we never really get to "the place" where we feel we are all there- and this is good. This keeps us where we need to be, reaching to God, reaching for more, reaching for strength and it keeps us humble, never feeling like we know it all and we have gotten to a place where we "get it", we've attained mastery of spiritual things- please see Philippians 3:12-16 TPT: I admit that I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness that I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose for which Christ Jesus laid hold of me to make me his own. 13 I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this;[f] however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead. 14 I run straight for the divine invitation of reaching the heavenly goal and gaining the victory-prize through the anointing of Jesus. 15 So let all who are fully mature have this same passion, and if anyone is not yet gripped by these desires,[g] God will reveal it to them. 16 And let us all advance together to reach this victory-prize, following one path with one passion.


Make me wise. 
Give me the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation in the knowledge of you, 
Teach me your ways, 
Reveal yourself to me, show me thyself, 
Thou Mighty Man of War, Thou Mighty Man in Battle, 
Thou Jehovah, my Deliverer,
Teach me, 
I thought it was enough to express my Love and Desire, 
I thought it was enough to have you reveal thyself, 
The Prize to pay is heavy for me, 
I start to pay and then fail and then start over, 
Help my weakness! Help my limitation! 
Reveal thyself inspite of..... Help me... 
I hate to see your children oppressed 
Knowing knowledge and power overturns it, 
Help me..... help me.... 
Even if I never help to set your people free, I desire you, 
I want you, I want to know you.... I want more, 
I want intimacy.... 
Come to me, show me what I need to do... 
What are my consecrations? Show me... 
I hunger and thirst for you.... 

*wrote this as a note in August, 2021. Things are a bit different with where I am with God, more progress, but I'm even more hungry I guess. Felt led to share it so, share I will.