Hi Lovelies,
Hope you are well in yourself. Just thought I drop by to write a bit here as I have a few bits on my mind that I'm trying to clarify. I'm beginning to think that I'll just write in order to arrange and clarify my thoughts..... which was how I really used to write. I feel like I've unconsciously begun looking at my writing in a different way, as though I needed to use it to teach, to inspire, to preach and because of that, I wouldn't feel
like writing if I hadn't fleshed out a topic my mind was pondering on, If I hadn't arrived at what I imagined the end would be like. And that isn't how I've often written. Though my writing may often teach, preach & inspire, I'm not actually writing to do that. I'm grateful that it does when it does, but ultimately, I'm writing to clarify my thoughts and to share my introspection. I've often just sat at my laptop and typed away and had the words come to me as I wrote so I'm just trying to really work on this and to ensure that no matter what I may be going through and how busy my life seems to be, I never actually stop writing.How is your year going? Mine has been..... I'm not sure what word to use to qualify it. More than anything I find that I just desperately need and hunger for God so much. The tides did come at the start of the year from left, right and center and I honestly didn't set definite goals as I had last year. That on it's own can tend to leave you feeling depleted- I like to start the year with a plan, a goal, some goals, some deadlines..... It just tends to give the months that come some semblance of direction..... but somehow this year was different. I just seemed so busy, so busy.... with work, business, balancing life as a wife and mom, so busy, so busy.... I have then had to say "Lord, HELP ME!! HELP ME!!! I CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS!! HELP ME!!".
I refuse to work like a Gentile, working, working, working, life full and time never enough and not spending time with God;
'Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or,
Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:)
for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow:
for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.'- Matthew 6:31
https://my.bible.com/bible/1/MAT.6.31-34)
So I'm back to the drawing board with the Father to say, "What would you have me do? What is a distraction in my life right now and please take it away and align me. Help me. Speak to me. Order my steps. Give me the grace to wait on you, teach me your ways and keep me (and mine) for your mercy's sake. Give me clarity and open the eyes of my understanding that I may know the hope of your call on my life, that I may live, operate and flow from a place of alignment, not confusion or shadow-boxing.
I'm also taking note of the areas my spirit is highlighting to me which is on the need to be disciplined. I really cannot escape it and so I'll be taking the time to study on what God is saying about discipline and making it a duty to pray for wisdom around this area as well as applying it to my life daily.
Just writing here has also made me feel a lot better. I really just needed to write today, not necessarily because I had something to share but because it was just really heavy on my heart to write today. I also feel like I'm in a really different season with God. A place of hiding. I feel covered. I feel like God has placed something over me to say "just stay here with me". I had thought this year was a year to write a lot about faith and all but I almost felt God shake all of that up and say "You're not ready, that's not what I'm asking you to do, just stay here with me". And that's what I'm doing. Staying with Him. Letting Him lead me, letting Him teach me. Letting Him show me my teachers, the covenant relationships I need for life & destiny, the books to read, answers to questions my heart longs for answers to, letting Him love me into healing in areas of my soul that are hurt and have been hurt forever. Just letting Him love me back to life as I love Him back for His unfailing, beautiful, loving kindness.
Yeah, just thought I share the thoughts in my head and heart. I won't be promoting my posts on social media much, maybe on my whatsapp but, I really won't be calling attention to it cos that sort of puts me under some pressure to push out another post and to keep up and when that doesn't happen that way (due to, you know, life), then I get stuck in a rut of disappointment that I am not writing and creating in this area and which makes me not even come here. I know. Weird way for a brain to work.
Sending you lots of love and light and God's blessings,
Love Always,
Judy.
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