Are you in the wilderness?

Ever been in a season where things just aren't working out in your life? Where your life seems like it is capsizing- all the goals you had and plans you'd made for your future seem to be going in a totally different direction from what you had hoped it would? Ever happened to you?

Ever been in a dark place where NOTHING makes sense? You are sure these happenstances aren't ordinary anymore- it’s one thing after another..... you're drowning, you're praying, it's not making sense, there's no one to talk to- everyone you may have had the privilege to talk to is somehow absent- doing well, unreachable, busy with their lives (that is progressive and forward moving), you're alone, not making any progress, stagnant, static, depressed, ashamed to be seen, embarrassed with where you are, asking pertinent questions to God, confused, suicidal, wondering "is this all there is to my life?"- have you been in this place? 

I have. Oh, but by God, I have. It is a lonely, lonely place to be. 

But what I didn't know was- it was a separation. A separation unto a solitary walk with God. An invitation....

I didn't know this for the longest of times. All I knew was that AFTER I'd managed to get through the entirety of that season, I could look back and SEE the hand of God. I could see how God carried me through that time. But still, it didn't exactly click- what was happening....

Since then, I have had the opportunity to read different faith writers (who I consider to be fathers in their own rights) and I have come to realize that God often calls forerunners (of His Will, His purpose, His Agenda) and allows them to go through that wilderness season. It's a time of separation with the intent that the forerunner or this chosen person relies solely on God- not on friends, not on parents, not on any support- they look around and there is no seeming help coming from anywhere and then they turn to God. God is jealous for our love and attention like that.

I do not believe that God Himself brings these situations- but I believe He allows it and watches us- hoping, willing that we turn to Him. He is desperate for us to turn the entirety of our love, faith, hope, dependence and reliance upon Him- He wants to carry us. But it is a process- God is looking for people who will grow into maturation in their walk with Him. Into a relationship. Into a reliance, a dependence. Slowly, He invites you into this time with Him. He allows this time, watchfully, to see what you do with it. The devil often seeks to use those times to destroy us but it's God's training ground.

You find that, sometimes, as you stagger through this time, depending on your level spiritually, if you are asking for His help and letting Him know you cannot go on, He is quick to grant you respite- and to try again another time, peradventure you would be better ready for a walk of faith with Him.

The "wilderness season" is used interchangeably with "seasons of separation".

It's generally seasons of your life where you find yourself totally alone in a way that isn't appealing to you. Now, there are "lone times" that are appealing. As an ambivert (introvert/extrovert, melancholic/sanguine), I like my lone and quiet times where / when I get to simply sit with my thoughts and/or get to be creative. However, the "wilderness season" is almost forced upon you, you don't want it, the emotional hurt, fear and insecurity it brings with it is such a palpable one, you want absolutely nothing to do with it. All you want at those times is that sure comfort of a nearest, dearest (not necessarily in the person of a significant other, maybe a trusted friend), someone to say "I care, everything's going to be okay, I have your back....", you get the drift.)

But, somehow, in those seasons, you don't have that. Or you may have people say that to you, but they also cannot really help you. The ONLY kinds of "help" that count for anything in those seasons are PRAYERS. Especially where the person/people praying cannot physically do anything to help you out of that situation. Tough seasons. I wish I'd known what I now know about these seasons when I first began experiencing them years ago....

So I read this in my bible school text yesterday evening that made me think, again, about this concept. So it said, "God builds Forerunners within the architecture of the Wilderness. It may be in long stretches, short seasons or the conditioning of  a lifestyle that can accommodate the move of God. The consecration demands on a forerunner will introduce the Refiner's Fire so that the weights of carnality and besetting sins can be weakened. God also often uses the wilderness to sharpen vision, renew strength and deliver the next direction, prepare for a higher level of the calling and baptise in a spiritual anointing". This made so much sense to me- especially in the light of the seasons that I have passed through in life (and that I am still passing through in different dimensions and levels) and how those seasons have been the seasons that birthed and uncovered depths in my walk with God. I've also heard anointed women in my circle share this same testimony.

So, before you think about committing suicide, before you think about getting out of whatever situation you've found yourself in via a quick fix, before you think that there is no hope in your life and that what is happening to you is happening to ONLY you, before you give in to that temporal release of lust that is the only familiar thing that is making sense to you in this wilderness and that you are using as a crutch to fill the loneliness you feel (and that, by implication, opens you up to more demonic bondage that cling to you and refuse to let you go), before you give in to that lure of temporal pain relief that comes when you take a swig from that bottle- codeine or alcohol- or when you kiss that blunt to ease your pain and soothe your soul (which is really only you opening yourself up to fellowship with demons- I KNOW what I'm saying), before you think to depend on your own human wisdom, strategy, wit and tricks to get you out of whatever place you are, before you go to the devil- in whatever form and guise (yes, I know that you may have considered this in your frustration), understand:

1. What you are going through is common to EVERY man- 

'No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy]. '1 Corinthians 10:13- https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/1CO.10.13

2. This time is an invitation to turn your life to Christ. To surrender the wheels to God. To get on your knees and to let God know that you are ready, you want ALL of Him. You are ready for this walk with Him. The arm of flesh has failed you. Your life is stagnant, a mockery, nothing is working and you have come to the end of you human ability- you need His help, can He help you? Can He teach you? Be desperate for a change. Be desperate for Him. - I used to say this prayer (and still say this prayer when it is necessary)

'“What profit is there in my blood (death), if I go down to the pit (grave)? Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your faithfulness [to man]? “Hear, O Lord, be gracious and show favor to me; O Lord, be my helper.” 'Psalms 30:9-10- https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/PSA.30.9-10

Recently I was speaking to a family friend I hadn't spoken to in a while and something she said just made me smh. In talking about someone who had embraced a higher walk with God, she said it was because he had faced such a hard time and "dem dey use clean eyes to enter church". I thought "Wow". I did gently tell her that WHATEVER BE THE REASON God finally had our attention, all well and good, all well and good. It is as it ought to be.

3. God will come through for you if you turn to Him. Please, turn to Him. Turn to Him. If you never have, consider it, have you not tried several many ways and still found that hole within you unfilled? Is that gaping sense within you, that place within you- after the thrill of lust, after the partying, after the loafing..... is that gaping sense of worthlessness, of emptiness, of depression, of sadness, of loneliness- is it not ENOUGH proof that there is SOMETHING else that TRULY needs to fill you up? That space is ONLY for God. Hence you see that people try to fill it with all sorts- friendships, girl's hang out, man cave, orgies, sex, substance, work, money, accolades, voodoo, juju, new age, kini ko, kini ko - and still, they still end up depressed. Turn to God. He WILL come through for you. He is waiting on you- for real. With bated breath, He is waiting- He cannot force you, He has given you a Will. But He helps orchestrate the situations that will turn you to Him in the hope that the seeds will be planted in your heart, and that these seeds would grow as you hear about His love and that you eventually turn to Him, heart softened- and ready to be Loved by the Father. He helps orchestrate the way by planting people your way- that sister that was inviting you to church, that weird brother that tried to preach to you that you managed to dodge, this blog you are now reading that is speaking to you, lol, my brother/sister, I kid you not, it is not a coincidence. The fact that you are even reading to this point is PROOF that God is trying so hard to reach....YOU. He is asking you to turn it over to Him. Will you trust Him? Will you try?

And as you do, as you say

" Lord, I am ready. I want to take this walk with you. What are you saying to me? What do you want me to know? What are you trying to say to me? I am ready. Please can you align my path? Firstly, I confess (speak this out) that the Lord Jesus is Lord and I believe that you raised Him from the dead to take my place, I receive the Lord Jesus as my Lord and my personal saviour and I believe that as I have said this NOW, I am now saved from eternal damnation and have been translated into your Kingdom, the Kingdom of the most High God. So Abba, Father, I surrender my ALL to you. Please help me. Please align me. Please help me. Please teach me.

And I want you to know that THIS is God's promise to you as you give Him your life and surrender to take this walk with Him. God is saying to you:

'When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I have given Egypt [to the Babylonians] as your ransom, Cush (ancient Ethiopia) and Seba [its province] in exchange for you. Because you are precious in My sight, You are honored and I love you, I will give other men in return for you and other peoples in exchange for your life. Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east [where they are scattered], And gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ And to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring My sons from far way And My daughters from the ends of the earth, 'Isaiah 43:2-6- https://my.bible.com/bible/1588/ISA.43.2-6-

Not only is He telling you how much He loves you, He is promising you a restoration. God loves. God really really loves you. So much He sent His beloved son, Jesus, to come die for our sins, the very sin that you think is too much that you don't even know how to approach God again, Jesus ALREADY died for it and has set you free to go boldly to the father- in the name of Jesus. Don't let the devil fool you and guilt you and make you feel you are a hopeless case- turn to God quickly. Flip the switch and leave the fallen fool with his fallen demons to languish. God bless you.

I love you and I trust that God is working in you and He will perfect ALL that concerns you.

Until my next post,

Lots of Love and Light,

Judith Chimemerem-Onyegbosi.