The Thuggery Of It All (When You Want To Be A Lady But Can't Help Being A Thug)

Did I tell you about my neighbor with the Vin Diesel head and the banging ceiling? You can read about him here.
Well, all that banging did continue non-stop. We came to take it as a normal occurrence and when you chastised my son or asked him not to do something, he would stamp his feet on the floor in rebellion to start a banging session from angry man downstairs - because he knew it was the one thing that annoyed me.

This continued and I didn't say anything anymore. Some days he'd scream, "WHAT THE F**k?! SHUT THE F**K UP!!!!". The banging against the ceiling was every single day and the shouting was every other day. I was once tempted into jumping up and down and screaming and dancing with my son- that pissed him off into silence- after screaming his voice hoarse. "SELFISH BITCH!!!", he had screamed, but something had snapped in me and I later really felt bad to have condescended that low.
Anyway, one of the times when the hubster was around, this dude suddenly comes up the stairs and knocks on our door. I saw it was him through keyhole and went in to call my hubby. So he went out to speak with him whilst I eavesdropped. I hear my DH say something like, "I totally understand what you mean and I do apologise. I hope though that you can empathize with our situ-", I hear, from the neighbour, "I really don't f**king care TBH, you just do what you need to do to shut your kids up, it’s been a year long of their incessant noise....".
My DH said, "Look, I'm trying to have a conversation with you and if you're going to be cursing and saying you don't care about what I'm saying, then I'm sorry I have to end this conversation". Saying that, he stepped back into the house and closed the door in his face.
As he made his way into the house, next thing I heard was a loud "BANG, BANG, BANG". Momentarily, something snapped, again, in my head and all I could remember was my husband trying to hold me back but I was too fast. 11 months of the suppressed annoyance I had felt from the constant banging overflowed. The door was opened as I screamed in his face, "DON'T YOU EVER DARE KNOCK ON MY DOOR YOU DUMB TWAT! ", I must have screamed so much more that I cannot immediately remember but a few other neighbours came down to watch my husband trying to stop and lift me whilst I kept trying to reach the man, my spittle flying in the air. I honestly don't know what happened but I was momentarily out of my mind with anger- like, how dare you come to my house, where I live with my children, with your Akpu-obi (biceps built strong for that matter) to come and threaten us, are you out of your mind? Just that sense of threat to my territory made me lose my mind. I called the police immediately, couldn't have someone thinking it was okay to come to our door to bang and scream invectives.

The police came in a jiffy and agreed immediately that the man was out of line. They went downstairs and had a word with him and also contacted the council. They could not believe that the banging had been going on for that long without anything done. I don't know what transpired between them but dude moved out in a week. Did I feel bad? Sure, a little- but I had tried to be friendly from the very beginning and he threw it in my face. Can't be feeling bad about someone who doesn't care about others.
DH just looked at me for a while, shook his head and, later, sat me down and asked what all that was about. He's like, "Ah ah, how you go from 0 - 100 can be really scary, abeg....". I asked if it annoyed him and he said the word wasn't "annoyed" as the times its happened have indeed called for it but still, it still shocked him nevertheless and makes him think,  "this my wife dey sha craze small".
The thing is, I do try to be a lady and stuff but, mehn, there are just people you don't mess with in my life: My children, my parents, my siblings, my family- I won't even say my husband as he doesn't really like all that hoodiness and can take care of himself but, don't mess with these people in my life- my rachetness just might not reflect the Salvation of the Lord upon my life, best believe you are as likely to get a mature response and calmness unrivalled as you are likely to get an out and out lady-with-boxing-gloves type scenario.
Anyway, anyone relate? Abi na only me waka come? 😂😂😂
I mean, I can talk bad and am allowed to quarrel with them but, no you are not allowed to help me to curse them out. Y'all moms should be able to relate to this nah, c'mon, yes??
Have a beautiful week my friends and don't forget to stroll by my IG page @urenmanaturals if you are in the UK and US (and world zone areas) and place your order. Please support my big business! (Faith things 😎😎)

Have a beautiful week ahead dears,

Love Always,



  1. Lol....i can totally relate...when I read stories of teachers bullying kids at school.....I'm like so what did the parents do? Cos my dear, if you do anyhow to my pikin...You must see anyhow. These babies are my life...don't play that kind of play with me....Lol....nicely written, by the way...:D

    1. Lol! Thank goodnesss!!!
      No be only me waka come then, lol.
      Thanks girl ����

  2. Thank God it wasn't the USA. Things might have ended differently with a couple of gunshots.

    1. Well, thank God for the UK and for gun control then 🙂

  3. Oh girl I can totally relate, one time I was on the bus with my oldest daughter she was throwing tantrum as she often did... she kept wanting to change places and I had finally put my foot down. A woman on the bus felt she needed to put her 2 cents in and tell me I should just move and give her the seat she wanted... I raised my voice on a packed bus and told her she should mind her own damned business ... I was raising my daughter, not her and if she had her own children, she should only worry about how they were raised... she shut her mouth for the rest of the trip and my daughter stopped her tantrum...

    I think people need to but out unless there is abuse going on ... otherwise they need to mind their own business xox

    1. As long as there is no abuse, every parent can parent their child how they choose. I can’t say I would not have done the exact same had I not been in your shoes 😂😂