Scarred.




I really did not want to write about this because I reckoned I had processed it out of my mind but it just keeps coming back.

So sometime last month, I was looking through my phone to show Dh a funny meme I had in it. I saw that I had lots of pictures in my phone that I hadn't put in it (they had come from the Whatsapp chat group I was in) and so I proceeded to delete these pictures from my media and this opened up a video of a little girl of about three years old.

She was lying down on what looked like a  baby changing table and was excitedly chatting gibberish, laughing and lightly running her little hands across her chest. I was just thinking why on earth her mother would think it ok to video her daughter undressed. While still holding this thought, I immediately saw a man's erect, large manhood come into view and head towards the- I stopped the video quickly and deleted it. My God. I am still scarred. I don't know that I can get over this. I went back to the group to see that someone posted this nasty video in it as a warning to mums etc. Angry, I left the group.

In retrospect, I cannot really explain why I was so angry- it was just so many things at once. I was angry at the world we live, in which such a thing could occur; I was angry at the beast that would think to destroy such an innocent child, I was angry at the temerity the depraved and sick beast had to have such an abominable act videoed, I was angry that people thought it was okay to casually share such videos, never minding that there are people who are just so sensitive and whose hearts could not bear to see such evil and depravity, I was angry because never once, in all my knowledge about pedophilia, had I ever had a mental picture of the action, I was angry because my mind had been exposed to something it could never have imagined of its own accord, I was angry because this video being shared had the girl's full view and face but not the man's and yet, people thought it was okay to share it, I was angry because I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was just so angry.....

I felt violated. I texted an acquaintance of mine who says, "She could get arrested for sharing that!". Asking what she meant, she explained that even having content like that in your device could get you arrested and have your children taken from you. My acquaintance is a lawyer here in the UK and used to work in a family law firm so she has some experience with and about issues of this nature. She had said that there had been a lady whose kids were taken off her because someone had sent her a video of that nature and she'd shown it to another (as a "warning" I imagine) and that other, worried, had reported her as having disturbing content in her device. This spiralled into issues that eventually caused her kids to be taken off her even though she had not necessarily gone in search of whatever thing it was in her phone. This is hearsay anyway as it is not something I know for a fact but my point is that things like this are not to be shared so casually- it is disturbing! I also hate that it is being "spread to all and sundry", I just think it is the devil's way of desensitising people to this atrocity, this thing that is so abnormal and abhorrent.

Finally, I prayed for the girl, wherever she may be. I prayed for her life and for her future, that God heals her from this corrupt start she has been forced against her will to know. I really think paedophiles should be given a death sentence or something, they do not deserve to live. This is me looking at all this with carnal eyes/mind speaking. However, the spiritual me knows that whatever evil we see right now is really only orchestrated by the devil. He is the father of all lies, author of confusion and a thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy. An old, wicked serpent full of evil wisdom, all he seeks to do is corrupt all that is good and beautiful and to cause God's children to perish and so he goes about, roaming tirelessly, looking for who to devour, who to corrupt, who to cause to be doomed to the lake of fire just like himself. I have learned to address the power behind wicked and inexplicable actions that we see and not the human being executing them, the human is only a vessel possessed.

But we have overcome the world through Christ. And Christ said to us in Luke 10:19 "...Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you...". It is imperative to realise our power in Christ but also continually ask for His grace, His Mercy, for Him to help us and walk us on the right path, to make us blameless before Him because sin is the only thing that opens us up to the attacks/bondage/possession of the devil. 
It is well with us all in Jesus' name. Amen.

Just thought I leave this here, it's been a draft for a while so thought I better turn it into a post in case someone really needs to read it...

Lots of Love,
Always,
Judgejudyjudy.
Xxx.



1 comment

  1. Mhh. It is really so sad what people share thinking they are doing you a world of good. I have changed my whatsapp settings so that nothing downloads automatically into my phone except i click on it for fear of seeing these disturbing images. May God continue to save us and ours from the evils of this world.

    ReplyDelete