When You Are Too Big For Your Britches.

I have recently begun to realise, and accept, that there are people who are just really weird and whose natural responses to situations are just totally off because it is just who they are. They were maybe raised differently.
There are certain things I used to think EVERYONE knew to do e.g I used to feel like everyone knew to respect their elders, no matter what the said elder does to them; I used to feel that everyone knew to talk to others respectfully, no matter what they actually felt about that other; I used to feel that everyone knew to face issues on ground in the event of a disagreement and not begin to grope for anything they could mentally grasp, from the past and issues unrelated, to turn a simple disagreement into a messy, bitter, hateful war of hurtful words; I used to feel that everyone knew not to boast and that it pays to be humble at all times. Alas, I was wrong!!!

So I belong to a Whatsapp group of old girls. It is quite an easy means to get in touch with old friends or actually make new friends from as you find, from conversations, people you like and whose thought processes you relate with and admire. I had to leave at some point but recently asked to be let back in because, well, I missed them (I know! People complain about these groups and yet, here I am asking to be let in, lol. Ours is really cool and you can tune out and tune in when you want). Anyway, I was let back in and, I noticed, a lot of other people were let in as well.

There seemed to have been some activity ongoing which, if I can be completely honest, I was uninterested in but everyone was having fun and I couldn't have been bothered. Someone left the group (probably due to having notifications on their phone) and someone made a petty but funny joke about it. Just bants. No one thought too much about it because it was obviously banter. Some girl, who had only just been let in (again, it seemed), begins to complain about the incessant messaging and the "disrespect" of making banter of someone leaving the group. I truly thought nothing of it all and thought it would end but it was just getting started. She goes on saying, "I see why people are leaving. People are leaving because of your nonsense chats, I've barely been here 20 mins and I'm already tired! People are leaving because you ALL have NOTHING to offer! People want to interact with people of like minds! How can you be trying to catch up with people you saw last as kids? And years after, the mindset/conversation is zero, nothing meaningful!"😳😳😳

People tried to say, "Please be watchful about the way you're speaking", but, no, this lady goes on, "*Whatsappname* I don't know who you are and I don't want to know who you are.  I see the only achievement you've had in your life is the Mrs to your name! And you want to trade words with me? What I have done is correct you and instead of you to shut up, you want to trade words with me. A whole Agadi like me. Please don't come on here to chat rubbish to people that on a normal day you cannot have the balls to talk to (Hahahahahaha!!!)....". She'd say to another, "Who are you? I don't know who you are. Obviously you know me and that is why you are talking to me...".  And then when all the ladies get really upset at the disrespect and begin to address her, she goes, "Look at them, cyber bullies. All the dumb ones in school now have the effrontery to talk to people they dared not talk to...". I swear, she said that. And when she sees the vitriol is coming strong, she back pedals, "...all I'm saying is people should be nicer when they speak.  Show respect, blah blah blah....".

My gosh. I didn't know that anyone who's been through the university could think like that/express themselves like that, much less one who's schooled and lived abroad. Like, what the heck? The annoying part was that she actually had a valid point she was trying to make but all that got lost! I couldn't believe that an educated adult was incapable of laying out their grievances gracefully- babe's delivery was so clunky, I kept cringing the more she typed and felt like screaming, "ENOUGH! WALK AWAY FROM THAT KEYPAD AND PRESERVE WHAT LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT YOU'VE GOT LEFT!"  But no, Clunk, Clunk, Clunk, she went. No tact. No grace. A learned and proud idiot.

I honestly don't know why people don't take the time to fine-tune their personalities. Like, I believe that we all start out somewhat clunky in life but you get better as you meet with people, as you go through the different educational systems, as you face conflict with people- I believe all these help you look within yourself and find out what you can do right/better. We've all got a blind self but you sometimes need to wake up if there seems to be a side to you that is rubbing EVERYBODY you come across the wrong way. I always say, "quirky" is good but sometimes your "quirky" is a deeply dysfunctional attitude that needs to be fixed. This lady I am speaking about is a well educated Dr, married with kids and opportuned to be a citizen of a country whose system works; I would think that having such circumstances would make you eternally grateful and kind, but, no, in her case, she sees the need to let the "struggling" people (her words, I swear) know that she would rather be in a group with "like minds" and not people who, on a normal day, would not dare look at/in her face. Oshey! Maybe you've got a leprous face that you reckon no one can stand. I would be very worried if such a person considered me of a "like mind" to them, I would be very worried. I just cannot understand it but I can accept that people are who they are: deeply flawed. But life has a way of making them right. It might not be now but it is inevitable that they will come right and get right.

No one's perfect, like I always say, we are all working on ourselves and learning along the way, but we shouldn't be averse to correction and humility will go a long way for us all. Humility brings you respect, not lauding and rubbing your "achievements" in people's faces whilst you insult them in addition- you stir dissension and bad blood when you do this and, although it is a given that not everyone will like you in the first place, sometimes it's best the "hate" isn't as a result of your total lack of character and grace but more because they are just being haters. 
It takes maturity, wisdom, grace and self-respect/self-control to actually learn tactful delivery in communication. Clearly, not a lot of people who scream about it have it.

What do you think guys, is there any reason at all for anyone to address a group of people like this? Do you find the language disrespectful or think that there could be some justification if...?

Have a beautiful new month my friends. May our dreams and goals come to a fruition.
Love Always,

Edited: I have had to turn on comment moderation because I didn't want anyone writing the person's name. Also, I have not enabled comments that have her name in them- that is not why we are here. I haven't written this to shame the lady that acted in this manner, I have only written this to shame the attitude displayed and this story was posted in that same group in the hope that she can get the link(from her goons), read and look inwards- if she is a wise individual and I hope she can! So, please leave your comments but, can we please leave out names? It's no use to point clueless readers to the who...... Thank you my friends. One love, 👊👊👊


  1. I've met people like this in my life... it's the way they were raised... which is sad. Also, I find its not always someone younger, I think it's rude but it doesn't seem like they are even aware. I usually ignore people like that, although there are times its not always possible. We do need to stand up sometimes xox ♡

  2. Haha. The person must be a joker,are u serious with dis? Sum1 actually talked lyk dat? Smh.She must think she has arrived,its normally people who hate themselves that act lyk dis, lol.I don't care who her father or husband is,if she has dat mindset n attitude,den she lacks culture n is backward.

    I luv ur blog J....