Shut your toddler up!!!

When your neighbour is a piece of work 😭😭😭                  
So we recently moved into a flat in a beautiful neighbourhood. Assides the lack of ample storage that I had noticed a tad too late, every other thing seemed really perfect about this area. Until it wasn't.

Immediately after the move, I had my second child about two weeks after and the house was still undone even when friends and colleagues came for my son's naming ceremony (which was really only a small gathering really). Anyway, shortly after that, one afternoon, I receive a letter from the property managers saying that there has been a complaint by the neighbour downstairs that there is a lot of banging around coming from my apartment. To be fair, the one thing I realised as we were settling in was how loud and hollow the flooring was. You could hear a person go up the flight of stairs and the sound was veeerrryy loud! You could also hear our neighbour's footfalls upstairs and it isn't pleasant to listen to, I have to tell ya.

I called the property managers and had a little discussion with them, explaining that the "banging around" was really my toddler who was playing as he normally would, the only difference being that the flooring, even with the extra carpeting over it, seemed to have a major fault. I also explained that I am really trying my best to stop it by literally stopping my child from playing and that it really isn't fair to him as all we now find ourselves doing is asking him to, "Not jump, don't laugh so loudly, don't this, don't that". Too restrictive. They assured me that as long as it was a child, and that he was merely playing during normal hours (not in the wee hours of the morning or at night- I assured her my son was up at 8am and asleep at 8pm) then there was probably nothing they or the neighbours downstairs could really do about it other than really try to live with it as a toddler really isn't at an age where you can reason with them. The particular lady I spoke with, who herself had kids, seemed to really understand my plight (but then again, jand-oyibo are often two-faced so, you still have to have your end covered in anything) and when I asked what she thought about me having a one-on-one chat with the occupants, she agreed that it was an excellent idea. Not too sure that was. She explained that she just didn't want the occupants to take it up with the Council.

I went downstairs to speak with the occupants and it seemed to be occupied by three people- two lads and a girl. The guys looked about 24-27 ish. I very nicely introduced myself to the closed-faced one with a shaven Vin-Diesel-type head who opened the door and who seemed to be determined to show me from his closed expression that he was annoyed. I explained I had received a letter from the management and thought it best I come speak with them. I apologised for the banging but explained my situation to them (the girl and second lad joined in the discussion at this time), I had a new born and a toddler who is just learning to be independent and to trash about and there is only so much you can really do. The one with the closed expression said that though he understood my plight, he worked night shifts and that it disturbs him when he has to sleep during the daytime. Fair enough on the face of it. Then he also said that he also has to "put up" with my child who cries (newborn). I realised at that point that these folks will never get it. Not until they have their own kids. I probably would have thought that way too if I didn't have any kids. I still managed to stay civil, tender the apology and make a quick joke which had everyone laughing before I left.


That same evening, as my son was jumping in his room, I hear the first bang against our flooring/their ceiling. Then began my nightmare. It has been an endless stream of banging against the ceiling (and sometimes angry screams of whatever-it-is-the-psycho-is-saying) since then which sometimes leaves my son crying as he gets startled. The banging starts from 8:30 am (once my son is up and about) till 8pm when he is in bed. It's almost as if  angry Vin-Diesel doesn't want my child to play in his normal play/active hours because he needs to sleep in during the day. I began reading this up online and saw that "noise pollution" was a big deal and was provided for by the government. I read through comments on threads and saw that people who had resorted to banging on the ceilings really had been disturbed by wilful noise by adults on a constant basis- e.g, loud music and parties. Next, I proactively called the Council to not only report myself but to also report my neighbour's actions. What I learned then, from my call to the Council and my research is that, in dealing with Noise Disturbances, you followed certain steps:
  1.  Try to speak with the neighbour who is constituting a nuisance as a lot of times they could be unaware that they are,
  2.  Speak with their landlord,
  3. Contact the Council to log in your report
  4. The Council could try to monitor the noise with a device (by coming into your home to check this) to ascertain just how much the noise is,
  5. Get a mediator to work things out between both neighbours,
  6. Go to the police,
  7. Go to Court.
So, my people, as you can see, we had already gone through a few steps already and a diary was sent to me to log in the times the neighbour banged on the flooring and screamed. Apparently, he had called the Council to say a child was banging and had been told that unfortunately, if it was a child banging, there was really nothing they could do about it and so he thought to take matters into his own hands. The thing though is that there is a department that deals with his F-up called the "Anti-Social" department and his constant banging, screaming and startling of a young child and just the general aggression implied by these reactions to a child is considered anti-social. In filling this diary, I realised that this man bangs and screams like 8 times in the course of the day, everyday- when my son is in the living room, in his room, in my room- it's disturbing. I was asked never to be tempted to bang back and, thankfully, the banging no longer scares my son, he now sees it as sport and bangs back when the man bangs against the flooring. Genuis boy! He figured it out!😍😝😜





Whilst I can understand how irritating this particular noise is, (I live in this building and know how loudly the footfalls of my neighbour upstairs sounds and that is just an adult going about her business. I can totally understand how frustrating the sounds from a child running across their room or jumping up and down must be), I feel like he tried it by pissing off the one person who can "try" to stop or restrain a child by banging on the ceiling and screaming obscenities. So I've submitted the diary and am awaiting how things unfold from here. One thing is certain, I don't think I can live in a Council flat anymore and whilst we make plans to ensure that the next move will be to a personal home, if that is not immediately feasible, I certainly now know what to look out for in a building: Storage and quality of flooring!

So, if you have just moved to the Uk and you've got a young child or are expecting a child and are about to move into a Council flat, these are probably the things you should look out for: I seriously recommend you go for a ground floor to avoid stories that touch. I now understand why some agencies don't take in families with young children; I used to think it was strange that the English who pride themselves on upholding children's rights and who have a lot in place to protect and provide for children would be selective about who they allow to live in their properties and would not want parents with kids to live in them. Now I understand better.

Please share any experiences you have had with me and have a beautiful weekend ahead!

Love and Light🙏🙏🙏
Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy...
Xxx...

7 comments

  1. Hey Mama!

    When I was younger, we lived in a flat in Paris and when my brothers would play, the neighbour downstairs would do the same thing your neighbour is doing. Eventually, everyone involved got frustrated and my parents ended up selling the flat sooner than intended and we moved somewhere else.

    Now we were fortunate to live on the ground floor with my son but when we moved to this house just before my daughter was born, he was always playing (to them it was noise but he was just being a toddler) and the neighbour next door showed up at our door a few times and eventually reported us to the landlord. Since then we don't even talk to her anymore and because he's a kid, there's nothing she can do. Our own is even next door, we're not above them and she was still claiming disturbance. This is somebody with teenage kids, so not very long ago her kids were young yet she seems to have forgotten. We're not even noisy ppl. If she hear real noise, she go pack commot!

    Anyway, just wanted to share that it happens everywhere. Don't mind them. God will give you somewhere much better soon!

    x

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    1. Wow, @ neighbour next door. Forgotten so soon, has she? So annoying! To think you don't even live above them, sheesh!

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  2. When I moved to this place almost 9 years ago, it was imperative that I have a bottom level place, I wanted my daughter to be able to run around without people complaining. My daughter would be in bed by 7:30-8:00 every night and up about 7:00... I think I am very tolerant as I have a child but I ended up with neighbors for a year who let their child, run, jump and scream all day, every day until 10:00-11:00 at night. Frankly if I cannot hear my TV, that is a bit ridiculous after the hours of 9:00 at night...

    If I worked nights I wouldn't ever complain about the day sounds, people need to live and move around, children need to be children. It is such a tough thing for people who don't have children to understand, I remember being a bit self centered like that before I had children and understood... As far as I am concerned when you live in a building you need to learn to live in a little harmony with each other xox

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    1. Exactly @ letting people live during the day- I find it ridiculous to be honest. I can understand that the man in question is a young, unattached and unencumbered one but, where is our apathy? Esp. seeing that I had even gone down to speak with them.....

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