New Baby, New Attitude To Contend With!



So a few people who follow my personal social media handles already know I put to bed a week ago. YES!!! I have a new baby boy! Another gorgeous baby boy too! I'm so grateful, to say the least, so so grateful....
Anyway, I packed my hospital bag like two days to my induction date. Yes, I was induced to have my baby as I was with my first baby. This means that you are invited into the clinic to be monitored whilst your little one was invited into the world a little earlier than the EDD (Expected Delivery Date). I like to be super on top of EVERYTHING and my idea of being "ready" for the baby would have been to have had a hospital bag packed over a month to the EDD but with the move we had like a week to the induction date and the fact that the induction was really at 37 weeks, I figured that the chances that the baby would come "suddenly" were really quite slim so I took my time.

I couldn't wait though, I REALLLYYYY wanted to just have and hold my baby, gosh! I believe I looked forward to having this baby more than I did with my first but DH assures me that I had acted this very same way with the first so I don't know really, I personally feel that I willed and wanted this baby so much that 37 weeks seemed too long a wait! That and also the fact that I was going to be alone in the hospital for the induction- with no DS and DH needing my attention- I thought this was bliss and couldn't wait to leave on the morning I was to be admitted into the labour ward. I knew the induction "could" take a few days- research showed that if you'd been induced in a previous pregnancy, the subsequent one(s) tended to be easier and faster, but it wasn't a sure thing- so I went prepared with my own snacks of cucumbers and peanut butter, my kindle reader and Ipad to enable me catch up with happenings around.

DH looked at me suspiciously as I hopped into the car for my ride to the hospital and asked if the excitement was just because we were going to welcome the baby or another thing (my supposed freedom, lol!). I assured him it definitely was the baby. They stayed in my room for a while before leaving and I laid back to enjoy an afternoon nap that was devoid of any distractions from DS, something I had not done in as long as "before DS" really-  Ahhhh! Utter blisssssss......

No sooner had I awoken than the worry began. I worried about DS and how he was getting on alone with DH. I worried about whether he had eaten and when I had called to inquire about what he had had for lunch at 1pm, DH said they weren't ready for lunch yet. I held my tongue. I called again at past two to ask about DS's lunch and DH, happy to be on top of things, said he had just given him some candy..... "Candy?!", I blurted out before I could stop the annoyance from creeping into my voice. Well, suffice to say that I eventually decided to just let them ride it out, I'd made sure there was enough food in the freezer to go round for a couple of days so I just let him do his thing whilst I tried to give them meal ideas. After all, God forbid if anything were to happen to me, they'd cope together pretty well so I wasn't going to fret about things that would only serve to cause me unrest.

By the next time I was to see DS in the evening of that day, he had suddenly grown a bit stubborn. His dad had taken him for an appointment after leaving the hospital and had told me that he would scream if you asked him not to do something and throw himself on the floor. DH had been stupefied, especially as you'd get other parents stare at you and probably judge you for not being able to control your child. I was surprised as he had never really done that before but he did the same when he got to the hospital to see me. By the next day, it had turned into a full blown tantrum and I'd tried to see and understand what the problem was but he just seemed to want all the attention focused on him.


I'd been a bit confused as I wasn't sure what it was- was it the fact that I hadn't come home? Could he sense that his brother was coming? Was DH harsh to him? Was this the toddler tantrum I'd been told to expect? Popularly called the "terrible twos"? But I had agreed with DH that our children would only have "terrific twos", no? What could I do? His brother came and it seemed even worse. He wouldn't look at him nor acknowledge him. I strove to get discharged the next day so I could really watch him and ascertain what the problem was.....

So it seems to be the toddler thing so I'm choosing to ignore the tantrums when they come so as not to reinforce them but I make sure to have a lot of one-on-one time with him. I'm also gently getting him to be involved in the activities involving his little brother and I ask him to hold his hand, to kiss his forehead, to say "sorry" to him if he's crying and just little gestures like that. Sometimes he is interested but mostly, he's just not into it for now but I know he'll come round.

So, there! New baby, new attitude to deal with, lol! 

To the mothers who've been through this though, how did you get by the temper tantrum/toddler stage? How did/do you manage the seeming power struggle- where you ask them not to do something and, looking you straight in the eye, they do the very thing you've asked them not to do? I spank and make to sit in a corner because I am not going to spare the rod; ain't no child spoiling on me because the rod was spared- not gonna happen, but, I am curious to know how you were able or are currently managing this stage- please leave a comment so we can all learn from each other!

Hope you're having a good month! Happy new month too in arrears- better late than never!

Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy....
Xoxo...

8 comments

  1. I have not gotten to this stage of my life but I'll be back to read comments. There's no harm in learning before it happens. I'm sure you are doing a great job though

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  2. Yippee congrats mama!!!! How are you coping? So I took some parenting classes ( ok I slept through most of them) most times when they do throw tantrums they need something and are frustrated because they don't have the vocabulary to express themselves.
    It may be difficult for your son to adjust, going from mommy and me to having a baby brother. Try taking him with you away for 30 mins without the baby ( if you are breastfeeding you can pump for your husband to help out). Some mothers swear by having a basket with toys that he plays with only when you are breastfeeding ( nothing fancy just some cheap toys).
    When he throws a tantrum don't get sucked into it, difficult. If he wants to be held hold him but if he doesn't let he finish but ensure that you are around where he can see you. When he is done talk to him explain that it's ok to be sad/ upset,this last part is really important. If he disobeys you, take an item he likes away from him and put it where he can see it but not get to it. If he throws a tantrum in public, ignore everyone else take him away from the environment till he is calm then talk thr

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    1. Yayyyyyyy! Thanks a lot anon, lol.
      You've also given me really great tips, I'll adopt some as it suits my household, thank you so much!

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    2. Forgive my typos

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  3. Wow congrats on your new addition. May this new phase bring you and your family more blessings.

    I guess DS will come around with time.

    Journey to Marriage 11 - Highs and Lows of courtship

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  4. Awwww, congrats Judy! Now now now you've become a mom of two- I bet it feels surreal,lol. God bless your growing home.

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  5. Congratulations on being a mother of 2! I just very recently navigated these waters earlier this year and my two kids are two years apart. When we first brought the new baby home, my son would try to push her off my lap when I was nursing so he could climb on and snuggle.

    One thing that helps is having alone time with him, I don't know how much help you have but sometimes it helped to express milk and give the baby to my husband or someone else to feed whilst I spent time with my son (also helps the baby get used to others apart from you - or he won't want anyone else - trust me, I learnt the hard way).

    There were times I would be backing the baby and my son would want to be carried so I had her on my back and carried my son in front for a few minutes to comfort him for a few minutes, it won't be easy but it gets better, one day at a time. Sometimes when he is being unreasonable, I just ignore him as I don't want him to grow up thinking that throwing tantrums will get him what he wants all the time or enable bad behaviour (negative reinforcement) - then when he calms down, I chat with him and do something nice for him.

    Also, ask him to kiss baby, hug baby and generally show affection, he will come round eventually. My son is now more open to his baby sister and she in turn loves him, always following him around with her eyes and chuckling at his antics.

    Take it easy on yourself, it won't be easy but it does get better

    All the best momma!

    M

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