When Siblings Betray.....

I saw the most incredible story the other day on SDK- I'm still not sure what to make of the story: whether it is a fib or actual facts but one thing I can say is that I still find it unbelievable. Find the story below:

Good day Stella. My girl is one of your greatest fan. She has lots of good things to say about your works on here. I have come across your website before now but I rarely have the time to visit it. But she's a regular visitor and she reintroduced me to it again sometime last week... I will appreciate it if you can keep my email private 
I became a millionaire at the age of 27, by 30, I have already built a standard duplex of my own. I had 3 cars, I bought 2 for myself and one was my official car. Life was good. I married my 26 year old girlfriend of 3 years at 31. We met in church. Im from an average family. She was from a below average family. By 35 we already had two boys. I brought all her siblings and mine close.
 My cars were free to use except the official one. Only her twin brother was hard to get along with. He was a menace to everyone including their parents. But her immediate younger sis (Ifeoma), a brother after her, and another timid youngest sister were like a family to me and they lived with us. Though her parents were already training them in the university when we met, but I still contributed to her and her troublesome brothers education. 
When she got her degree, I was trying to secure employment for her in the firm where I work (a major oil company), but it just didn't happen, so I told her to try her hands in business and I will fund it. She came up with funny ideas. Then I told her I would open a travel and tourism business, while she manage it and do as she pleases with the income (my first job was in a travel agency so I had a good idea of it). I then enrolled her for training courses at the appropriate institutions.In 6 months she had caught up with making bookings and all.
 I drew the whole business plan and simply put every other thing in place. She was just like a hired hand that came in solo. By 3 years, based on previous experience, connection, strategy, goodwill, hard work and Gods grace, the business was going very well and we had a staff strength of 10. Mind you, aside from the money to keep the business running, the income was hers to do as she pleases. Anytime, we needed to hire a staff, I do the interview and hired them.

 I think for the business, plan and strategize the marketing- everything. I just tell her her own role. And every night, she simply gave me verbal feedback. In the course of the business, she bought jewelry as she wanted, aside from the car I bought her, she bought 2 extra cars. She went shopping abroad multiple times. Though the business was registered in our name, all the customers contacts were hers
10 years on the job, I had bought another property and was already developing it. Life was good.... then I was told to resign due to some internal problems. My world came crashing down. The night I told my wife I had left chevron, that was the last time I ever saw her smile. Then the disrespect started pouring in. It later became outright verbal and emotional abuse. She won't cook anymore, and since we couldn't afford maids any longer, her youngest sister that was still with us would do the cooking. 
She went out and came home as she pleases. No more lovemaking. Our sex life practically died. Even the kids began to resent me. She traveled to S/A one time, and when I confronted her about it. She bath me with abuses of my life. I could easily beat the living day light out of the insolent child but I kept my cool, and would take long walks, cry and pray to God for a miracle instead. 
I thought with my qualifications I would land another job in a short while even if it wasn't that juicy as the previous one, but for where? Two years down the line - nothing. I also made the mistake of keeping up appearances. Instead of cutting down fast, I still maintained the lifestyle and external responsibilities I had before the job loss, claiming man of faith. My savings ran down fast. Then I started to put eye into the profit of the business I opened for my wife, but she would have none of it. I say ye! 
She said I should go look for a job, the business was hers and if I pushed too hard she would quit the marriage. I told her to quit. Family meeting was called, she was adamant and I also maintained my initial stand. We broke up. 
Few months later, I heard that she has moved in with my children with one big popular Auchi man who used to be one of our customers. About a year later divorce was finalized. She just couldn't wait
Things were dwindling fast on my side. Because she had the customer contact of the business, I had to start from the scratch. She got the new guy to open a bigger outlet for her. Forgetting that I was the brain behind the business. I sold the house, and 1 of my cars to pay off debts, complete a small portion of the other property and invest the remaining into the Travel business, but I believe she put some jazz on that business, because it just never grew. It got so bad that I sometimes didn't have money to feed nor shave.
 I would just be home alone for days. Somewhere along the line, my dogs died. 
I am the type that isn't used to demanding from family and friends. Instead I give so I didn't know how to ask. All the while, that timid sister of hers who once lived with us had graduated (I funded her university education) and gotten a job in a telecom firm. This sister would call me and check up on me, send me some small change to keep head above water. 
During weekends, she would come over with foodstuff and help me with cooking and washing like she use to do then go back to her base. She bought shaving clipper for me, toiletries, slipon etc. Aside from my mum and only brother in England, she was the only other person that was there for me. For two and half years straight, that girl fed me. And she did it with genuine care and respect till the very end.
All the while, I didn't relent, with the help of a childhood friend, my pastor, and with my experience in the oil and gas sector. I got a Government contract in Abuja. I made 150M overnight. In my excitement, I called that timid younger sister to come over for a celebration, I told her the good news, we went celebrating that very night, we got really tipsy and I didn't know what happened but by morning, she was naked on the bed beside me in my bedroom. We didn't say a word all day, she just stayed in the bedroom, while I got dressed and went shopping. 
By evening, I came back she was dressed and ready to leave, but I told her to have one last drink with me, as thank you, I gave her some cash and the I bought for her and... well, we did it again. From brother Victor, brother Victor, sir, sir, e enter baby, boo, bae. And Stella, I have no regret about it at all. 
On the contrary, I think I have gained more. She looks, 'feel', and sound similar to her older sister. Just that she's younger (now 32), firmer, fresher, darker skin tone, far less aggressive, less materialistic, more selfless and more sacrificing. And I like it this way. During lovemaking, it seems as though I'm with the sister. Hahaha it seem funny now as I think about it, I don chop 2 sisters be that o.... unplanned. 
Anyway, the reason for this message is because she has been feeling guilty and scared. I have tried to alley her fears in many ways, I have bought her a car and numerous luxury gifts, taken her on trips abroad, and bought a land in her name, just for her to feel at ease, but she can't seem to get over the fact that she's with her elder sisters ex. Also, she says their parents have been nurturing a reconciliation..... one which will never happen. So she wants to know what the world thinks. 
As for me, I could care less what anyone says, when I was roasting, what was their contribution? He who was with me when hope was lost is he who I am with. Moreover, that marriage is dead and buried, she has been sleeping with another man, divorce was finalized 6 years ago... how can I go back to that? 
I have moved on to something far better. By Gods grace, today, I can boast of a solid oil firm with over a dozen filling stations around the country and still counting. With choice properties everywhere. My liquid cash is in 9 figures. While my ex wife's travel business didn't last 6 months because of her ignorance and aggression. And I hear her man has married another younger wife. I see she's been trying to add me on a social media platform I belong to but you see, what's the point?
I will be having my 45th birthday in September and I plan to do it big with my girl and kids by my side. I want to introduce her to the world as my woman and give her a little surprise package that very day in the presence of everyone. And I'm going to do it big. Is she doing anything wrong? Whatever advice you have for her, kindly use your infamous pen if need be. I know she'd be watching. I got to get back to work.
Reading this story, I thought, "Well, it IS a beautiful tale of love and the man surely saw hell with his ex, he sure deserves to be happy...", but then, I REALLY thought about this and thought, "Hold on a sec, THIS isn't right AT ALL!!!". It's weird because more than half of three hundred and something commenters were for the union and not against it- I really can't believe that THIS situation up there, after proper thought has been given to it, can be considered okay.
My thoughts are that this man will end up totally destroying this family- I do not care whatever the situation with his ex wife was, her sister had no right to stand in that gap: I think that she was wrong in the first instance to keep going over to her former brother in law's place to cook and clean- you can help by sending money into his account but where there has been bad blood between family and a person, there is a limit to which you should relate with this person- that is just what I think. It doesn't matter if the ex was a witch to him, go find another woman OUTSIDE of the family and not within. I do not even get the sense that this man is over his ex- his constant comparison of his ex and her sister, even in love-making, is just pathetic. Then the SISTER!! I just don't get it! If this is not the worst betrayal ever, I don't know what is, like, with sisters like this, who needs enemies? Some lines just should NEVER be crossed no matter what and my advice had been for them to let sleeping dogs lie and move on with their individual lives- sometimes, love is not enough. I don't believe that love is complicated- Love should not be THAT complicated and I believe that once the "love" you share with a person becomes too complicated, becomes a source of unrest and chaos to those closest to you (family), then there is a problem. 
In cases like this, I think "love" is not the most important thing to think about but FAMILY- what about the children from the union with his ex? If you sire kids with this younger sister, what would they become to your present kids? How will the future be for these children- how do they explain their family to others? What about the parents and other members of the family? It's just too much to be honest- and this is just my thinking. Some argued for it as normal, I think it is an anathema- had this sister and ex-wife been dead, then I might have been able to understand- it is just unacceptable- to me.

I just think that there are things you consider before going ahead with a relationship or a marriage- you cannot be selfish about these things but, if you choose just yourself and your feelings, be prepared to go it alone. For instance, you cannot decide to bring an anti-social person who has no regard for your parents and your family into your family, against every plea, and then think that it is okay for you to be on good terms with your family whilst your Significant Other continues to disrespects your entire family and, say, refuses to relate with them (yes, I've seen this happen in a family) - you should be able to stand by your choice, you should be able to give up the family you have no regard for by bringing in a person who has absolutely no regard for them (because the reason the person treats your family with contempt and disregard in the first place is because you have let them know that your family is worthless) and focus on just you and the insolent SO- you cannot eat your cake and have it. You need to be able to think about the future- especially if the insolent SO is one you have no hope of even changing- what would be of the general familial relationship? Cousins will end up not knowing or relating with cousins, in-laws not relating with in-laws.... just one big, unhealthy larger family and it is selfish for a member of a family to consciously destroy his/her family in this way.

What are your thoughts on this- beautiful love or selfish lust?
Love Always,

1 comment

  1. Indeed this kind of love is a taboo especially in the Igbo tribe where I come from. I strongly believe that the man just wants to get back at his ex. Family is everything. That man wants to destroy the ex wife's family and the gullible sister should not allow/help the man destroy her family. My 2 cents tho