To Kiss Or Not To Kiss.....


This picture of Victoria Beckham kissing her daughter on the lips was the topic for discussion on one of the mummy platforms I follow on social media: people's opinions were sought to know if it was inappropriate or affectionate. Curiously, a lot of the mums on the platform voted for it being an affectionate gesture: I am once again struck by how seemingly affectionate our present day parents seem to be- we seem to be more loving and experessive than our parents were...... Thankfully.... #chuckles


DH and I kiss our son on the lips, and all the time too, it's just something that comes naturally and when DS (dear son) thinks he has upset you, he comes up to you, bringing his face and lips to kiss you, and if you turn away because you are still mad at him, he cries and keeps reaching for "his" kiss and will not rest until you kiss him back. So cute! Lol. I try to teach him that the kiss, for now, is only for mummy and daddy but, of course, I don't expect he will understand just yet- which is okay because I am with him all the time for now and he will get to understand before he starts school.

Remember the "sister" that spoke to me about how being fashionable was the work of the devil? On Xmas day last year, she came visiting with her daughters and, whilst they were about to leave, her daughter, in saying bye to my son who was crying because they were leaving, said, "Bye darling! Stop crying darling!". The lady was shocked and quickly apologised for that, adding that her daughter learned saying "darling" from these their oyinbo teachers that say that to them in school. I was surprised and told her that she had nothing to worry about; I called my son "my love" "darling" "my boo boo" "my Chime" "sweetheart" and a host of other affectionate names. It was her turn to look askance at me. Then she said nothing else and left with her kids.



One day during a sister's Saturday fellowship, I happened to come really early and also met her there so we had about 30 minutes to gist before other sisters arrived. Whilst playing with her last daughter, DS moved close to her as though to kiss her so I stopped him and reiterated that he does not kiss anyone else. She asked me where my son "learnt" to kiss- duh! I told her I kiss my son on the lips. She quickly "corrected" me by saying that I should kiss him on his cheeks instead of his lips. Furious at the nerve she had to tell me that, I still managed to politely but firmly tell her that I am fine with kissing him on the lips and that I don't expect her, of all people, to understand that show of affection. She kept quiet after that but not after snidely asking what I intended to do when he started school- ask the teachers to go around stopping him from trying to kiss other kids (!!!)? Calmly, I still explained that he'll start school at 4 years and he'd have understood not to kiss an outsider. Her "Ok o" before the silence made me feel like giving her a backhand: some people are just really annoying. The irritating part is that I bet she was clueless to the fact that she had just been very rude. I would go on ahead to kiss my son in church and would see her via my side eye looking at me as though to say, "God forbid!". Yes, He will forbid your level of backwardness alright.

Anyway, I was sorting out newborn clothes from my son's pile last night whilst my son was asleep and trying to sort out the unisex ones since I don't know the sex of my baby when I compared a particular sleepsuit he'd worn on the day of his circumcision to one freshly laundered one of his current size: the difference was MASSIVE! I couldn't believe my little son had actually grown so much in this time, you almost don't "see" this growth until you look at the clothes they've grown out of! I have a picture of him wearing that sleepsuit on the said day and it had even been slightly baggy on him! My little growing child! I felt sad suddenly- I could then understand how some mums say they cried when their little baby turned one (or any such little age) because they begin to imagine him growing with beards. Well, I didn't "cry" but I felt a tug in my heart to think that, soon, before you know it, this baby that depends on me so much and looks at my face 24/7 might not really have my time. He might not also want to kiss me for that matter! I went to where he was sleeping to look at him and ended up lying beside him, kissing his cheeks and face until he pushed my face away in protest- he has even started already!

Well, I will continue to kiss my child on the lips and will not be guilted into feeling bad about kissing my child(ren) on the lips. It's not like I'm french kissing them- its really only a peck on the lips- I will not be made to feel that such a beautiful expression of affection and bonding between a parent and a child is dirty or lewd- God forbid! THAT is my own take on this.

So what do you think? To kiss on the lips or not to kiss on the lips? Don't let my opinion sway you, I'd like to know why you hold a differing view....


Have a blessed week my friends,
Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy....
Xoxo.....

5 comments

  1. I say a big YES!to many many kisses... from me and DH 'ONLY'... I don't even know how I'll feel the first day any of my kids go 'ewwwww, mummy stop!'.... I'll just weep loll... Evezboudoir

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    1. Hahaha! @ weep when they ask you to stop. We'll find a way to make them see it's not embarassing jor!!

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  2. To tell you the truth I never thought this was an issue. I mean people fuss over how parents show affection to their child? We kiss our daughter on the lips and she's thrilled by it. This kind of affection showing flows naturally. Sometimes I feel like "eating" up my daughter because I can't still believe in how much love I have grown to have for her. I can look at her just sleep and even kiss all over her, so pardon me if I find it strange that other parents don't feel this excess urge to show affection to their child especially as little children.
    On how fast they grow, my baby was born "big", weighed like male gender babies. But I look at her newborn pictures and compare them to now that she's about 6 months and I marvel. She's changed and grown so much. Like you I also think oh she would soon be all grown up.
    I've made a resolve and pray God gives me the strength to do it, that I try to spend as much time and pay as much attention to her before she's ready to leave the nest.
    I have written so much already. Motherhood is one experience I'm grateful for.
    I missed your posts. ---UGO

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    1. Honestly Ugo, when you talk about your daughter, I just want to have a girl already! God please.....
      Your comment made me smile and feel so warm inside, haha! Thanks a lot for everything....
      Xx

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  3. LOL! Life is funny, I am also already praying that my next pregnancy should be a boy to experience some of the things you write. Oh well, may God hear us, Amen.-UGO

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