Social Media Blues.


This social media and it's tendencies to play with our emotions, eh? I woke up rather early today to study my course work and what I'd learned during the week and after about an hour long of reading, I got bored and strayed to Instagram. I've recently, only a few days ago, reconnected with a couple of acquaintances from Lawschool and so I thought I go by their page to see what they'd been up to- it had been five to six long years after all, I wanted to see what everyone was up to.


I'm not sure that had been a good idea in retrospect, hahaha! You see, these acquaintances were in ACTIVE legal practice, the very life and path I had imagined I would toe: indeed, I really did think there was no me without legal practice- never imagined I would toe any other pathway and yet, here I am actively training for a whole new career path! Wow! I looked through their pages which also linked you to their Linkedin pages and saw that not only were they in Legal Practice but they also worked in renowned Law Firms too which, to me, translates to better legal experiences and less time spent trying to come into your own as a seasoned lawyer as you had all these well placed and experienced lawyers around you from whom you can learn from: whose brains you could pick.

I'd begun to feel a bit low to be honest, then I remembered speaking with a friend of mine recently. My friend is a renowned fashion designer, married and with two kids- she has a pretty great life going for her on the face of it and I've thought no different too but when we got speaking, she confided that she really felt she was not "where she was supposed to be". When I asked what she meant, in a low voice, she reeled out names of other young Nigerian fashion designers now eg the one whose business name starts with the fourth month of the year, who had started out with her and how they had basically become household names and she felt she was still where she'd started.

Now this is my friend who has been pregnant or breastfeeding in the last four years, juggling the rigours and hassles of entrepreneurship, motherhood and wife-hood, feeling inadequate because "other designers" with none of the responsibilities she's got going on are "doing better"- of course they'd do better, there isn't that much taking up their time other than their business so, naturally, their business would, and should, grow progressively! I told her that and encouraged her to never feel that way at all, pointed out the fact that her clientele as it is wide enough, her clothes superb: in time, she'd expand her market, if that was what she wished to do, and re-brand, after-all, JewelbyLisa had always been a recognised Nigerian brand but PR girl, Zara Okpara, joined her team and we saw JBL go international. At least that was how it seemed to me.

So there I was, feeling not a little low as I looked longingly at the path I could have been on, wondering what these colleagues (maybe I should write former colleagues) of mine would think of my page with my numerous food posts- na cook she go cook for jand? Hahahaha! Just kidding- I couldn't resist that, lol. Seriously though, there I was feeling low when hours earlier I had just got back from a brainstorming training session and had felt ready to break down this task of figuring out this new career path and running with it and few hours down the line, there I was waxing nostalgic about a path I might yet come back to..... In the future. Yes, I do have those plans which is why my blogname, which is really my name on all of my personal handles, stays the way it is- it constantly reminds me that the plan had been and still remains, in the long run, to sit on the Bench so, it's certainly still in view only, just not right now and I can't say when but the Spirit will lead me easily to it.

Right now, I still had to remind myself as I took heed of the advice I'd given my friend, I'm on my own predestinated pathway: it might not all be going as I had initially planned when I was single, but the path keeps unfolding and it makes absolute sense as I go on. I do not have to look to the side at that other's path or compare my journey with their's, I'm just where I am supposed to be and though I still have all of my plans for the future mapped out, I pray with every point everyday of this journey- some fall through, others don't and God just takes me down another route but I know that I am on the right path without a doubt because God's plans for me (and where He's taking me) are of good and not of evil, to lead to an expected end so, I'll constantly keep from letting comparison try to put a dampner on my happy!

So do you occasionally have the social media blues? How do you handle it?

Have a great week ahead guys! God bless you!

Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy....
X...

6 comments

  1. Really to be sincere I don't. I just look at your pictures, check your makeup out to see if its fleeking lols, and move on. Except you're doing what I have dreamt of doing, like a career or something, then I stalk you to an extent to see what I can learn and of course wish I had your life which only lasts for a day tops. Then I slap myself back to reality and focus.

    PS: the biggest one now is looking at other peoples kids since I have one, especially those people that video even their child peeing, I don't know how they manage to capture every second like you follow your child around the house with a camera or what... The urge to compare is always there especially when you see a really smart kid but I always remind myself that every child is different and develop at their own pace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah ah, Lohla, we're saying the same thing as per career wise now, lol. I agree with you about that one of seeing exceptionally smart kids, I can't even deny that. I used to follow someone ( who's child I think is really overexposed but that's not my business) who has a really cute and smart kid. The kid knew to pronounce the alphabets long before I thought it was possible to, I was soooo impressed. I had to unfollow after a while as it did get tiring but I still admire their family.

      Delete
  2. Social media can be incredibly wonderful but the problem I see with it is what you say, we see how other people are portraying themselves and think we should be better... when in essence I have come to the belief and understanding that more than likely their lives are no where near where they are trying to portray. I sincerely think we need more honesty and you are right, we are on our own predestined path, we need not worry where other people are on their paths xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not everyone believes in being honest about their life only because people could use it to hang you or will just be entertained by your struggles. I couldn't care more or less, I'll share what I think is okay to without too much thought about who is getting entertained.

      Delete
  3. Yea I do compare and sometimes I get really down but thank God the down days are getting further away. I was on a part or rather had my business the plan was to continue with it after marriage, here I am having relocated, on a different career part. I never believed that I would be in school this long. The two year program I was working on, got extended to three years because I had gotten pregnant along the way. Wrote my entrance with my friends scored higher than they did they all got admission while I didn't. I felt horrible but had to be happy for my friends.Reapplied this year got into all the schools I applied to. I thank God for everything.
    A relation went into the line of business I was in and is doing well. When I saw the pictures I cried to sleep that day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh! 🙁 I totally get how you must have felt to know a elation went into the same line of business as yourself but I believe it will all work out together for good. My mum would often say, when I moan about not moving at the pace I had hoped to move, career wise , "Nkeijika" meaning, what you've got is greater: a home, a child/children.... There will be time to catch up or do what satisfies you in the future but, Nkeijika. 😊
      God bless you.

      Delete