So long.....


On my way to work this morning, just when I'd got to the pathway leading to the entrance of the office building, someone calls to give me the news.
A dear one had passed away last night.

What? How? Why? How come? I had asked but the answers weren't coming as fast as I wanted.
In an instinctive moment, the minute I'd heard, "I have bad news" and my heart stilled to hear it, I had let out a long scream and knelt down on the pathway in disbelief, not caring about the strange stares I was getting- I didn't even think about how that scene must have looked until I got back home.
My manager saw my face immediately I got in and told me today wouldn't work, I needed to pull myself together- bless her unusually understanding heart.

So, what I don't understand and the question that puzzles my mind is, how come stuff was happening but no one was told?
How can one have been struggling and getting to the extent of death and yet the people closest to you had no inkling, no idea about the depths of whatever it was you had been struggling with?
They merely had a "vague" idea but were just as shocked to awake to the news of your demise.
Could it then be said that people do not really care then or are we just a secretive people?
What is all this secrecy about- who e don hep?



Then again, I couldn't help thinking how we can sometimes get so self absorbed that we fail to see that others may just be struggling and fighting a battle we know absolutely nothing about.
Let me explain what I mean by this.
I had visited sometime last year and had bought things for this dear one's family and because I couldn't make time to visit them, I had had it sent to her.
I heard no word from her and when I had complained to her sibling- as she is quite my senior and I didn't want to be too forward- her sibling said,
"Ah, if it's her, she's been having some issues...". When I pressed further about the nature of the issues, I was merely told that, "She has not been herself...".

It got to  Christmas and I called several times but my calls never got answered. I sent goodwill messages regardless and repeated the same at New year and yet, no responses.
At this point, I had now thought it was about ME, I had become annoyed.
I complained again to her sibling who said, "I agree that she hasn't managed the situation well but you must know that she has not been herself at all, as in, at all, at all- she's been under some kind of attack...".
Attack, you say?
I left it and didn't want to push it..... and  now this.

I wonder, would it have made a difference if whatever it was she was going through was known and intercessory prayers and support were offered up for her?
I'll never know but I hurt regardless and yet, it's too late now....
So long, my sister, until we meet again in paradise...


Until we meet again here my friends,
Hopefully in happier spirits,
Judgejudyjudy...
X

3 comments

  1. Oh my, that is so sad... I wish we were more open with each other... I think if we were, we could be there for each other. I think hiding it only makes it worse. Once I started coming out about the things I went through, it became easier to handle... it is hard to tell someone that when they are in the middle of it though xox

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    1. It is hard to tell someone that when they are in the middle of it truly cos people have become wired to preserve self- you never know who to trust......
      :(

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  2. Keeping things to ourselves and ascribing anything we can't explain to th spiritual, Is how we are wired. May her soul rest in peace. Sending squishy hugs your way.

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