Is your marriage a Patchy or a Peaceful one?

I was recently reading a post on a blog- I can't even remember which- when I saw a comment that I thought was absolutely  hilarious and so I screen grabbed the comment to share with you.
See the comment below...


Okay, so I can see I'd been on SDK then.
I just found the comments so hilarious, I must have cracked a rib laughing!
Especially @na patch patch we dey here..... it's sad but still funny all the same.
It made me think though, isn't it common knowledge now that one doesn't necessarily wait until they've found a person who is 100% their spec before they decide to commit to forever with this person?

I believe that you can work with even a 30% and NO- I do not think it means you are settling for less- you are only being practical- a 30% today, with the love, maturity, compromise and patience learned in marriage, will- in  A LOT of cases- become a 70% in a couple of years- which is very okay, methinks.

The patch patch comment did make me go into a lot of thought about marriage and it's inherent issues if left unmanaged.
I really believe that ANY marriage will work ( and not feel like patch patch ) if the two parties decide to keep to their own part of the biblical injunction in Ephesians 5; Let the man love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her and Let the woman be submit to her husband as to THE LORD.

To expand this a bit in really dicey cases, this would then mean that a man SHOULD love his wife- regardless of her winchy tendencies and cantankerous nature- and the woman SHOULD submit to her husband and treat him as THE LORD- regardless of how selfish, unreasonable, bossy and autocratic he is.
You see how difficult it then becomes?
I read a book by either David Oyedepo or his wife, Faith, not sure which it was now but I'm pretty sure about the message. The writer was saying that whenever a couple or one of them came to him complaining bitterly about the other, his first question to the complainant was, " Are you fulfilling your own part of the biblical injunction?" .
He then went further to say that even if a man were married to a witch, free expression of love towards this witch in the manner instructed men in the bible will leave the witch confused and will make her repent her winchy ways.
It was most definitely David Oyedepo because I can now strongly recollect the said book- I think it was called Success in marriage and was co-written with his wife ( not too sure, read it in 2013 ) but I strongly recollect that this bit was his bit.

Anyway, the same principle was applied to  the case of the wife and a difficult husband and how that the wife's submissiveness would surely win the man over.
However, in this day and age of equal opportunities and rights, it seems no one wants to be seen to be doing the work of trying to make a relationship/marriage work alone-  to be seen stooping to conquer, couples now seem to believe it is a 50-50 contribution and if the other party isn't willing to put in 50% of the effort required, then the marriage be damned.
Women now believe that they have the same rights as men and so a cheating man should not expect to find his quiet, pious and faithful wife at home: it is now strictly do me I do you.
Infact, in some cases it isn't even a case of do me I do you, it is now, eating okra soup alone is boring- variety is the spice of life!
Men don't want to live up to the biblical standards laid out for them, preferring rather to live by the standards set in the society/ in the world and the result? Chaos in the home and a lot of patching along going on.

In our first months of marriage, I think DH and I were just about ready to give up- nothing had quite prepared us for the tumultuous time.
I didn't want to let go of my bad habits and DH, who had met me with those very same habits, was insistent that they had to come away, there was no compromising with him concerning those habits (which I later realised was a saving Grace for me.... Story for another day ) and being a naturally stubborn person- especially when I feel I'm being "ordered"- I was a bit of a strong-headed handful and what did that give us?
An angry husband and a very sad and depressed wife.
I realised the power to make my marriage work lay in me, in my chasing away- and for good- the little foxes that were gradually eating up the greenery that was the bountiful potentials in my home- I have an amazingly awesome husband and I realised my behaviour was changing him and turning him into something he wasn't!
I had to retrace my steps and by the Grace of God, I was able to let go of the said habits and began to consciously apply the biblical principles set out for a wife to issues as they arose- where I would normally retort to a slight, I'd bite my tongue, etc, etc.
In a very short while, this became a habit that replaced the former habits and the result has been an overly doting husband who trusts me 120% ( I'll talk about this fact as the blog progresses ), peace in my home and a quiet life of trusting in God.

I said in an earlier post that I wouldn't share much about my family but I will leave snippets here and there.
So I think personally that one does not need to be patching: I do believe that, though it can be extremely difficult- especially when you are dealing with a difficult and unreasonable person- one can apply the rules in Ephesians over and over until they become second nature to them.

Then again, it is another ball game where either one or both of the parties involved are not born again/ do not have the fear of God in them, no?
#sigh.
Please share your thoughts on this as I am eager to hear it.

Until we meet again here...
Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy...
x.

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