Comparison, the joy killer!


Last night, a friend directed me to a blog owned by someone we knew. She merely said the blog was "nice".
Before retiring for the night, I scrolled by to have a look.
There is something about blogs. There are some you visit and keep going back to because, not only are they very interesting, but you feel like you know the blogger/writer personally.
And then there are some you just scroll through and hastily leave, never to return to, as you can clearly see their reggae or blues clashing with your blues or reggae...

Anyway, I went by this blog and thought it was pretty basic but when I started reading the first post, and then the second, I felt deflated.
This lady had/has THE relationship with God that I long for- I instantly felt I had not even started.
I began to feel inadequate, reading her speak about hearing from God, receiving inspiration and instructions from God and strongly chastising anyone who hadn't/didn't make a special time everyday to have a personal quiet time with God- and she didn't count saying a prayer on your way to work, in the shower, on the move etc as a special one- she meant sitting in a private prayer room, alone, by yourself, with no disturbance- and conversing with God.
I felt guilty, like I had done something wrong and was being scolded.
I backtracked to my previous posts and, in the light of one so spiritual, I saw mine as lacking- I didn't even have what it took to inspire anyone- I was still pretty flat and struggling to find my spiritual standing. I was merely "wishing" to know God better where others were figuratively being "lifted up" into the heavens from the fervour of their worship- they were on another realm.....

I was inspired to do more by this blog I visited but I felt inadequate about the previous posts I had put up on my relationship with God. I now saw how a person who visited her blog often would come to mine and think, "This sister is not serious!".
Then for some reason I strayed to Instagram and went on pages of "friends" from the past and saw that everyone was moving ahead- businesses were gaining grounds and seriously flourishing, they all seemed to be going places!
Suddenly,  my life felt a bit mundane.
Stuck in a job that, though I am more than grateful for as it pays the bills and contributes to the household purse, is not visibly contributing to the growth or furtherance of my career.
A business then, you say.  What time do you have to look into that? My time is split into work, home, take care of kid, repeat cycle- save for a live in nanny (a lovely Ghanaian lady) who has been a God-sent to me, I truly don't know how I might have managed this period without slipping into depression....

You can imagine that at this point, I was feeling not a little low.
But then I remembered that everyone is on their own personal journey- and a relationship with God is a very personal one- I am not sure one can set a one-fits-all mode/manner of worship to be the absolute acceptable means by which you can hear from God.
Though I agreed with a lot of the things she wrote- which buttressed the need to apply yourself and MAKE THE TIME out of what might seem like NO TIME at all to spend with God- aren't our inadequate little prayers, prayers uttered in the sudden feebleness that can sometimes overcome us when pressed down by our weaknesses, the little cry for help, aren't these all that vital point where Christ says to us that ,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2Cor 12:9 ?
Plus, I might not be where I thought I would/should be in life BUT, I am a looonnnngggg way from who and where I used to be and I just wholly believe that everything happening in my life is happening and has happened just the way it was predestined to- I look at how it's all turning out and it clearly seems to me that the mistakes and poor choices of the past had merely all been scripted from the very beginning- the mistakes being the instances where I had gone off on my own frolic and drifted from the script or where unseen forces had tried to play my destiny- and I feel like that unseen hand merely played (and is still playing) it all out for me to my advantage, guiding me, using both the difficulties and challenges, and taking me to the very same beautiful end.
As though I had never strayed.

I know life is full of twists and turns and what might be rosy today might not be quite as rosy tomorrow and vice versa but I do believe 100% that ALL THINGS ARE WORKING TOGETHER FOR MY GOOD to lead me to my (GREAT) expected end- and this is my true, unshakeable belief- not the regular quaint quote and cliche it can sometimes be.
For that, I am confident and will focus on this my small journey right here in front of me- blocking out every in road from which comparison can creep in from, to be so focused on my journey that I have no time to compare my journey with another's.

Finally, it is well.

Please share your thoughts with me.....

Until we meet here again,
Love Always,
Judgejudyjudy...
x

7 comments

  1. I shy away from blogs that tell me how to live and what I'm doing wrong. There is nothing wrong with bettering ourselves but as you say we all have our own path. I would much prefer to read a blog by someone who is honest about their struggles, that's more real ♡

    Thank you for dropping by my blog and commenting xox

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    1. I love your blog Launna.
      What you share is just so real..

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  2. Hey Judy...the reason I read your blog, I mean from the first blog with a funny name. Was because you were totally unpretentious and your blues rhymed with my blues..lol
    I've discovered something wIth writing a lifestyle blog...aka your diary. Ýou are speaking to someone, maybe not everyone.
    There are blogs I've been to, and I feel envious. I wish that I could write or communicate that way too. But do they become an addiction for me ? NOPE. cos they aren't telling my story.
    Maybe where I want to be, but not who I presently am. Truth is as humans, we want to know that we're not alone., either as struggling christains, or #perfect christians#. We automatically gravitate towards our kind, and when we do find someone that tells our story...they becomes our addiction.

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    1. I totally understand what you mean Ebi and I agree with you. Lol! I see we knew each other in my anonymous life, hahaha!

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  3. Comparison is the enemy of progress! Just like you said we must remember that everyone's journey different. Great read xx

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  4. I know exactly what you're talking about. I almost feel like I know the blog you're talking about. Lol. There really is no need for comparison. It'll only drive one crazy.

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