On Davido & Sophia's baby and where we draw the line between protection and oppression.


When I discovered blogosphere (in 2013), I felt like a kid in a candy store- it was all too interesting!
I went to all of the sites- I'd started with Linda's, then I stumbled upon SDK and, just one evening, I landed on Wivesconnection and that tied me down real quickly, lol.
My DH would often say, "You've come with your townhall meeting group, abi na blog, how would you even be actively interested in a blog called "womenstownhallmeeting'? "townhallmeeting" kwa?", he'd ask incredulously and I'd simply laugh cos I knew he was joking.


Anyway, lately though, since work, faith and family life took priority, I find I go long months without visiting any gossip sites. 
I still browse through Linda's blog daily but it is, it seems, more to catch up and see if anything interesting happened during the day.
I no longer read (almost) every post along with the comments (those had been fun times, to be honest)- I rather like to find blogs that are actually like mine, that talk about real life and experiences- not necessarily inclined to gossip et al.

So at my lunchbreak today, I scrolled through my instagram page and chanced upon a story on my timeline from the same page I got the Tiwa story from.
It had been about Davido and his "baby mama". 
I didn't know what it was all about ( I hadn't even known Davido had a child ) but what interested me was the gist about a child being held against the mother's wishes and the many allegations about the said mom's irresponsible behaviour while in charge of her child.
I also saw Chief Momodu's comment against the post which read and so I searched the internet to see what the story was about.
In summary, Davido sired a daughter with Sophia and because Sophia (and Davido) are known to be cannabis smokers, Davido's family thought it best to keep the child in their care, hence the "abduction" which then ran into a few months with Sophia fighting to get her child back (whilst Davido's family started treating her family and herself rather shabbily) and finally  getting her child and celebrating on instagram.

Though I see the point Dele Momodu was making ( from being a mom myself and knowing how much it must hurt to have one's baby separated, against their wishes, from them ), I still think that there was alot of sense in what Davido's family had tried to do- only, I thought they ended up not quite handling it well.
In Western countries, children were jejely removed from homes where it was believed or, in some cases, merely suspected that they were or could be susceptible to harm, neglect and/or risk.
It could be harm, neglect, risk arising from a number of so many factors: 
1) Outright carelessness on the side of the parents
2) Domestic violence
3) Mental health issues (yes, even that too, when probed, reveals reasons why the social workers/children services would rather prefer or push for your child to be taken into the care system
4) Substance abuse
5) All kinds of abuse ( Emotional, verbal, Sexual, etc )
6) Other factors.

Everyone makes mistakes (some more than others) and it sometimes takes something as serious and as frightening as losing one's child to effect the changes we need to see in ourselves and that we need to make us effective parents.
I don't know either of the parties and do not know the actual veracity of the allegations levelled against them but one thing I do know is that there is no shame in owning your mistakes and striving to be better.
If you had been found on drugs or in drink or not in a right frame of mind or whatever it was the allegations against you were, the onus rests upon you to not only prove you were capable of being a great parent to your child but also for you to sustain this - to set out to be a great parents to your kids and to do a drat great job!


I see and hear a lot of people get really upset about these measures taken by the government in the Western world but, in truth, they merely are trying to safeguard the future and life of the innocent child who has to endure a life in a dysfunctional home and as a result, alot of times, grows into a dysfunctional adult himself and by implication, a dysfunctional member of the society which is the root cause of a dysfunctional society.
I have found that were the children/social services get involved, most likely, there is something to be worried about, something that needs to be stopped/given up- whether or not the parents in question accept that such a thing exists.
Sometimes their involvement can be rather baseless, but alot of times, there is always something there....
Sophia (and anyone in such a situation) should rather use this as a springboard to becoming a better version of the parent they could have been which would, at most, be pretty average.
Turn it up (parenting wise that is ) and be great!

Which is why I say that I understand the reason what was done was done, it just wasn't handled properly and the situation degenerated to a more callous than cautious one.
Nigeria will be a much better place if attention were given to the welfare of the child in the home first and foremost, before we try to fix the society.
We are truly a tough people because we survived and are surviving still in an environment where abuse- all manner- is unleashed upon us from the earliest  of age; indeed, alot of the abuse alot of us have faced are as old as ourselves and are the reason we sometimes act and think the way we do.
I won't try to overflog this but my summary is, own your shit and fix yourself, or at least, avail yourself to Jesus to fix you and to all parents, get it right with the children and watch the society shape up.

What are your views on this my friends? :)

In case I am not here to wish you a happy new year (!!!!),

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! May 2016 be the year all of your dreams are realised!

God bless you!

Love,
Judgejudyjudy.
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