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Awkward Labour And After Birth Moments

If you follow me on Instagram and follow my stories, then you know that my car broke down over the weekend. I thought it would be up on Sunday but that has not been the case and so I’ve had to take walks to a few appointments whilst I have someone look after my other kids. 

Strolling down today to my six weeks check ( my new born son, apologies for having not mentioned that), I began thinking of all of the uncomfortable things that happened during labour and after birth that I don’t really hear people talk about. 

I mean, can we talk about;

1) How absolutely awkward it feels to be "felt up" when your cervix and dilation is being checked? 

I mean, I thought that after my first child, it wasn’t going to be a big deal to me but I have felt that way with my second and now third child. 

Hiwever, I like how "professional" the nurses/midwives make it seem; "I am going to insert my finger into your vagina, you might feel a cold discomfort and if you feel uncomfortable at any point, please let me know and I’ll stop...". I literally laugh on the inside as it’s both funny and super awkward to me. 

2) how awkward it can be when they want to inspect your blood letting after birth? 

Let me explain. I’ve always been looked after by female nurses after my previous births. I’ve only ever had my water broken by a male Dr once and it felt terribly uncomfortable for me....

After the birth of my son some weeks ago, the Dr doing the rounds comes to me, a friendly Asian man with kind eyes and an equally kind smile. He asked how I was doing and felt my tummy, which he said was contracting beautifully. Then he asked how much blood I was letting and I’d responded that it was just enough, like a regular menstrual blood letting. And then he says, still smiling, "let me see". 

I was dumbstruck for a few seconds before I and then I said, "as in, see?", and, still smiling, he said, "yes, let me see", as he used his head to signal that I should open my pant. 

Ha! I thought in my mind but responded, "oh, sure!", and got up, pulled up my dress and pulled down my pant for my pad to be inspected🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. Like it was the most normal thing to be asked in the world. I tried to keep a normal, confident look on my face, as though I totally understood that THIS was expected and normal- but, inside, I was so mortified 🤣🤣😂

My Coffee Journey. 


My Coffee Journey. It was always going to be a flat header even though the subject of interest was the energy juice. 
However, I truly have a relationship with coffee and, it’s been a journey. My relationship with coffee started in, was it secondary school? 🤔🤔I don’t think so. It was in University. I believe it was in the University. 

New Year In August.





I honestly did not think I’d go this long and not write. I have truly questioned myself and the reason I began this blog in the first place. I literally started this blog to gist you, to share my interests, my discoveries, my thoughts, to analyse issues of interest etc but I’m not sure what has happened or why I stopped along the line. 

Can Strong, Opinionated Women Be Friends With Each Other?




Can strong, opinionated women be friends with each other?
I am quite strong willed, and, although I am open and flexible with my thoughts, opinions and stance and will consider my opinions quite malleable, I have found that, alot of times, it's not very easy for women with strong opinions to be friends with each other.
I have often found that it is even alot easier for a man and a woman to disagree on opinions and move on from it without the differences affecting their relationship and friendship than it is with two women.

True Passion For Some Or Love-Hate For All?

Hi guys,
Hope you're enjoying November.

This outgoing week was just a bit flat for me, didn't do much promotion for my business as I was just in a different headspace.

The Thuggery Of It All (When You Want To Be A Lady But Can't Help Being A Thug)






Did I tell you about my neighbor with the Vin Diesel head and the banging ceiling? You can read about him here.
Well, all that banging did continue non-stop. We came to take it as a normal occurrence and when you chastised my son or asked him not to do something, he would stamp his feet on the floor in rebellion to start a banging session from angry man downstairs - because he knew it was the one thing that annoyed me.

Together, Let Us Stand Up To Weinsteins.


So I meant to put up this post a while back but have been putting it off. The whole story of Harvey Weinstein, the disgraced TV exec, brought it back to my mind and this prompted this post. So sometime last week or two weeks ago, Dencia had a lil fight with Yemi Alade and whilst Dencia proceeded to drag Yemi, some people came for her in the comment section. I read a particular comment of a person calling her a whore who "slept her way to her current status" and when another person challenged the young man with facts that proved that Dencia was indeed a good business

Balancing Motherhood And Work (And Entrepreneurship)- How Do Uk Moms Do It?

Hi guys,
Hope your year's been going great?
Mine's been so so, a mixture of hits and misses but I have stayed hopeful about the misses. 
I've not particularly been excited about the fact that I have not blogged as consistently as I thought I
would but, I've really just had a lot on my plate. I'm not sure I ever mentioned it here but I've literally been looking for a good job all year long. I've come this 👌🏾 close to clinching my dream job but it either doesn't click through or the jobs I am offered (about 4 in total) don't pay nearly enough to actually cover child care costs to the level that I don't feel like I am wasting my precious time working to pay someone to care for my children. 

Clarity. Namaste🙏.


I spoke to my pastor's wife on Sunday. I spoke to her about the condition of my heart.
I just feel like I am no longer connecting with a lot of their preachings and teachings.
This is also really hard for me because I have come to love them as family and I know without a doubt that they preach the truth. Another reason this is hard is because I need for my children to be rooted in the Word of God via a living church and I had hoped that this assembly was going to be it....but I also feel now more than ever that the church is not for me, and by extension, my kids, anymore.

I came to this conclusion not without a lot of personal striving. I do believe that God sent me to the church for a reason, there was a purpose for which I was led there as evidenced by the fact that I am now able to see through a lot of things I had hitherto been almost blind to, especially where it came to false prophets and motives, but I also know that my time with them is up.

Sleep Training And Weaning My 10 Month Old.

Remember when I sleep trained my toddler? Well, I decided it was time to sleep train my 10 months old baby. His sleeping habits, as of three weeks ago, were amuck; 1 - 2 am would normally find him wide awake, smiling and ready to play. To be fair, I would also normally be up trying to get some work done myself but, I realised I needed to make some changes. I also meant to wean him once and for all; I had started sometime in May but gave up after about 3 days due to a few reasons, his heartbreaking weeping (it wasn't a "cry" i tell you, it was such a heartful weep, lol) and the fact that I couldn't stand the pain of my over-filled bosoms some of them. I thought the time I'd set out to sleep train him was also a good time to wean him- just so he faced the "trying" period and got over it once and for all and not have to go through the emotional experience twice.

Seeking.






I am seeking. I've been seeking. I've been seeking but I am not connecting.

Why? I am seeking your face Lord, I want to know You more, I want to hear from You, I want to please You, I want more, why do You not answer me? Why do You not reveal Thyself to me?
I ask for forgiveness for anything in me that puts You off, I ask for Your Mercy, I am thirsty, I want more, I am no longer satisfied, show me Thyself, show me Your power, can You not hear me? What am I doing wrong?

Scarred.




I really did not want to write about this because I reckoned I had processed it out of my mind but it just keeps coming back.

So sometime last month, I was looking through my phone to show Dh a funny meme I had in it. I saw that I had lots of pictures in my phone that I hadn't put in it (they had come from the Whatsapp chat group I was in) and so I proceeded to delete these pictures from my media and this opened up a video of a little girl of about three years old.

Musings, Musings, Musings......




It's at times like this I wish I were still writing anonymously. I've just got sooooooo much to say but I don't know where to start....
So I'm sat here, at 3.08am (it's 5:12 am now actually), laptop on my lap and writing with no clear direction- I just want to get my thoughts out, whatever they may be- I am hoping I will get clarity as I write....

Bleeding Brad.....




3 May 2017


Hi guys,

Happy new month of May! 
I won't bother with a narrative about why I've been away, at this point, it's just pointless. Life has been happening. It is well. Anyway, I want to be more consistent on the blog, to write more and remove my focus from Social Media for a while. Social media is absolutely great. It is such a great occurrence in this time and age and gives us access to opportunities, people, themes, ideas, etc that we might not have ordinarily had without it but, darn, it can be quite overwhelming. It just sorta takes over you if you are not mindful; I'm choosing to step back, step away and try to focus more on why I am here in the first place, which is to write. 

The Nigerian In Us....


Last week, we came home from school run to meet our smoke alarm bad. No, it wasn't blaring out noises but it continuously made one sharp beep over a 30-60 second period. I was worried that the beeps would cause me to be unable to sleep and I googled what could be wrong with it. All the pages I looked at seemed to be saying the same thing: the battery was off. I tried to check this out when the children were asleep, took out the batteries and inserted new ones in but the noise didn't stop. I left it for my husband to have a look at when he was in. Hubby got back by the weekend and checked the batteries thoroughly but still, the beeping would not stop. We were being thorough because, unlike the previous apartment we had lived in before this, when something went bad and you called maintenance, if they came through to discover that it was a trivial thing that didn't require for them to come by, you ended up paying the fee for having them come which was anything from £70 upwards.